June 2004


“The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality they seldom attack a human.”

Twenty three year old Kimberly Yeo has set a new world record by sending this 160-character long message in only 43 seconds.

Transcript of a fox news interview with Vice President Cheney:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,123794,00.html

CAVUTO: All right. Sir, a couple of little issues I want settled, or maybe to get the real skinny on. One was this blowout you had the other day with Senator Patrick Leahy of Vermont. What happened?

CHENEY: Well, I guess you could say we had a little floor debate in the United States Senate.

CAVUTO: I heard it was more than a debate.

CHENEY: Well, I expressed myself rather forcefully, felt better after I had done it.

CAVUTO: All right. Now, did you use the “F” word?

CHENEY: That’s not the kind of language I usually use.

CAVUTO: All right, because the reports were that you did.

CHENEY: Yes, that’s not the kind of language I ordinarily use. But…

CAVUTO: What did you tell him?

CHENEY: I expressed my dissatisfaction for Senator Leahy.

CAVUTO: Over his comments about you and Halliburton?

CHENEY: No. It was partly that. It was partly – also, it had to do with – he is the kind of individual who will make those kinds of charges and then come after you as though he’s your best friend. And I expressed, in no uncertain terms, my views of the – of his conduct and walked away.

CAVUTO: Did you curse at him?

CHENEY: Probably.

(LAUGHTER)

CAVUTO: Do you have any regrets?

CHENEY: No. I said it, and I felt that…

(CROSSTALK)

CAVUTO: So let me understand, he comes up, he sees you, Mr. Vice – he’s all nice, shakes your hand. And then what do you do, let into him?

CHENEY: Explain my unhappiness with the way he conducted himself. Part of the problem here is, that instead of having a substantive debate over important policy issues, he had challenged my integrity. And I didn’t like that. But, most of all, I didn’t like the fact that after he had done so then he wanted to act like, you know, everything’s peaches and cream.

And I informed him of my view of his conduct in no uncertain terms. And as I say, I felt better afterwards.

CAVUTO: All right. Now, they say you broke decorum for normally a Senate or congressional session. Now, technically, I guess, it wasn’t in session.

CHENEY: No, we weren’t in session. What we were doing was waiting to take our pictures, our official Senate photo. And I go up and sit in the chair, as the president of the Senate (UNINTELLIGIBLE).

CAVUTO: What was reaction from the crowd?

CHENEY: Well, I think that a lot of my colleagues felt that what I had said badly needed to be said, that it was long overdue.

CAVUTO: Pretty feisty guy, aren’t you?

CHENEY: Well, I’m usually fairly calm (UNINTELLIGIBLE).

CAVUTO: Your wife’s just a few feet away.

CHENEY: And ordinarily I don’t express myself in strong terms. But I thought it was appropriate here.

Things people say	What they meant to say
-----------------------------------------------
All-timers	       |   Alzheimer's
Morris code	       |   Morse code
Corn rolls (hair-style)|   Corn rows
Pall bear, Ring bear   |   Pall bearer, Ring bearer
Tie me over	       |   Tide me over
Supposably	       |   Supposedly
Butt naked	       |   Buck naked
Acrost	               |   Across
All of the sudden      |   All of a sudden
Full proof	       |   Fool proof
Alterior motive	       |   Ulterior motive
Chester Drawers	       |   Chest of drawers

http://www.bonitadailynews.com/01/07/graphics/29yoda.JPG

Jodee Berry sits with her toy Yoda at her lawyer’s office. Berry, a former Hooters waitress, has sued the restaurant where she worked saying she was promised a new Toyota for winning a beer sales contest. Berry, 26, won the contest in April. She believed she’d won a new car. She was blindfolded and led to the restaurant parking lot, but when the blindfold was removed she found she was the winner not of a Toyota, but a toy Yoda, the little green guy from Star Wars. AP photo by Terry Barner/ The Panama City News Herald

I am going to start an organization to promote truth and goodness in the media.
Possible names include: sons of helaman (but I don’t want to discourage women from joining up)

Billboard signs:

Choose The Right: Freedom or Bondage
Wickedness never was happiness.
No Peace for the Wicked
Repent. Now.
If you do good you will be blessed
Choose the higher road
Modesty — leave something for the imagination
if you give it away for free, don’t expect anyone to buy
A virtuous woman is worth more than 1000 rubies
Remember that you are a daughter of God.
Your body is a temple — keep it clean.
Your Heavenly Father loves you.
Have you talked to God lately?
The great plan of happiness is real.

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