Ryan Byrd’s Ramblings

Taken by me up the canyon past Sundance this weekend:

Theodor Seuss Geisel / Dr. Seuss, the author of the acclaimed children’s book, The Lorax, inspired me to paint the following acrylic on canvas work for my Dad for Father’s day:

Previous Dad gifts include a handmade clay Buddha.

So, I’m no Picasso, but maybe I can be closer to Jackson Pollock. You decide. A friend and I painted the following four works of art, which are currently hanging on my apartment walls. Click each thumbnail to see a larger version in a new window.

On Saturday, a friend (Erin Simpson) and I went out to the Dugway Proving Grounds over in the Utah west desert and we dug up a bag full of beautiful geodes. (I kinda felt like Stanley Yelnats from the movie “Holes.“) (Of course, the sharp-eyed blog-reader will quickly note that the movie was based on the book, and that the book was a whole lot better than the movie. In fact, the book contains several chapters (concerning the school teacher’s relationship with the onion seller) that would make the sensitive hearted individual (like my mom) tear up.)

Anyway, we also explored an old silver mine (got caught by the police for trespassing), saw the cutest fat-bellied lizards, a herd of wild horses, swarms of huge locusts and three baby antelope. Also, we got a flat tire. That was fun. (I mean, not just the flat tire part, but the whole day.) But speaking of the flat tire, how random is this; I’m taking a nut off the tire and it falls to the ground and rolls down a snake hole. Seriously, it was the only such hole for about 100 feet and I managed to drop a nut down it. I had to dig down three feet to get it out. (No, we didn’t encounter the snake.) Bizarre!

Here’s how it works. You drive about a hundred miles over bumpy dirt roads, through two mountain passes until you hit a sign that says, “Dugway Geode Beds.” But wait! You’re not quite there yet. Don’t be misled by the web pages that tell you to just get out and start digging. Erin and I did, just for good measure, and I tell you what — that was dumb. We not only didn’t find any geodes there, we didn’t even find any rocks. Just a lot of shovel-fulls of clay. Did I mention it was like a jillion degrees out? Ok, anyway, the real way to get the geodes is to find the right place. Basically, it’s about three miles into the marked area, as you pass a small hill. You’ll know when you’re there, because some major excavation has gone on and there are huge piles of sifted dirt. Also, there are geode fragments everywhere on the ground. Once you’ve found this magical place — probably a couple hundred feet square, you can then begin your digging and scavenging in earnest. I’ve been there twice and twice I’ve come home with a load of impressive geodes. Good luck!

Addendum: So, you’re asking yourself, “what do I need to go on a geode hunting trip and get to get these inner-sparkly rocks?” Good question. I recommend a 4 wheel drive vehicle (the dirt roads are pretty rough), a shovel, Gatorade in a cooler, a hammer, bug spray, some food to eat, a bag or box to store the rocks, someone to keep you company, a camera (to photograph the locusts and lizards), sunscreen and a hat. You’ll not get much radio reception out there, so you might consider a couple CDs of good music — bluegrass, jazz or rap/hip hop.

Someone remarked recently that I had a misspelling or two here in my blog. Who spellchecks blogs? I need an editor or a personal assistant. Any takers? A friend (Layni) and I saw Will Farrell’s latest movie, “Kicking and Screaming.” Speaking of movies, we all know that movie extras appear to be engaged in conversation as they cross in the background. Problem: what if you, as an extra, run out of things to talk about? That’s where “watermelon and cantaloupe” comes into play. They say that when people speak that phrase, from a distance, it appears as if they are conversing in a regular sort of way. Personally, I’d easily tire of those common fruits and would branch out into others– say legumes or exotic fruit. How about Pomegranate and Papaya? or Cucumber and Carambola (Star Fruit). How’s Cumquats and Tangelos? Tangelo is a funny sounding word. Here are some more funny words: Caboodle. Humdinger. Whippersnapper. Skedaddle. Nincompoop. Lollygag.

I’m going rock climbing today with Mike and Trevor. We’ll probably go up little cottonwood canyon. A good time will be had by all, particularly if this beautiful weather holds up. I’ll let you (my legions of fans) know how it goes.