I get my cell phone service from Cricket. I know what you’re thinking — because you don’t need a credit card (and you pay month-to-month), Cricket is the first choice of teenagers, the unemployed, and those with little fiscal responsibly. A quick trip to your local Cricket kiosk at the end of the month (just before payment is due) doesn’t exactly expose many in the Forbes top 100.

There are other problems as well. Due to their latest efforts to more efficiently annoy us, it is impossible to ever speak with a human when calling 1-800-cricket. Sure, their voice menu says you can press 0 to be connected to a representative, but that’s entirely untrue, you’ll hear nice hold music for a long time, but never a person. In fact, some believe that the company is entirely staffed by maniacal robots. That’s ok though; robots are cool. What is not cool is how often my calls are dropped (several per day) or how they have essentially NO coverage in Highland or Alpine or American fork. Or how they have extra fees for everything. Very uncool.

So why do I stick with a company that has blatant disregard for its customers or the quality of their service? Minutes. Every other cell phone company has this screwy idea that it’s ok to charge per minute. I’m reminded of the backwardness of Europe where they still charge for landline minutes. STUPID. Entirely stupid. Cell phone conversation is hampered enough by walkie-talkie-like audio quality. When you add urgency to the mix, you transition from “What was that? You broke up” to

“I can’t talk now”
“What?”
“I said I can’t talk now”
“Yeah, I can hear you now”
“NO, I said…”

Horrible. On the other hand, with Cricket, you get one bill regardless of how long you talk. Unlimited minutes, unlimited long distance. Of course, as I mentioned, they have spotty reception that only covers Utah and Salt Lake counties with NO roaming, but that’s beside the point.

And so I take the moral high road and endure such hardships with a smile. Perhaps the $50 I dutifully pump into Cricket’s coffers each month will in some way encourage other cell phone companies to follow Cricket’s unlimited minutes lead. I am a, once again, a champion for unfettered communication.

** A reader named Lunkwill just posted a comment I think merits an echo — the other benefit of Cricket is that they DO NOT REQUIRE A MINIMUM SERVICE CONTRACT. I think forcing subscribers to sign one or two year contracts is ABOMINABLE! It smacks of anti-capitalism and monopolism and hampers new entry and innovations into the market.

I’ve thought of a new slogan for cricket. (Current ad campaign, “stop counting”)

Stop Talking. Who needs a cell phone when you travel? Use the phone in your hotel room.

Stop Talking. Alpine and Highland residents are too wealthy to need our services. When in those areas, flag down a rich person and ask to borrow their phone.

Stop Talking. Don’t you hate when conversations never end? Stop fretting. With Cricket, your conversationsÂ’ will never last more than a few minutes before they are dropped.

Stop Talking. Does a loved one call you at inconvenient times? With Cricket, our coverage is so slight, you’ll literally miss hundreds of calls. If you’re lucky, some of those people will leave messages. It’s like having your own administrative assistant 24/7.

Stop Talking. Hundreds of people are injured or killed each year in auto accidents caused by people talking on the cell phone. Don’t be a statistic. You’ll be amazed how quickly your calls are dropped when you’re moving 65 miles an hour — you’ll never talk on your cell phone in a car again! Join with us to save lives.

p.s. thanks RL for the spelling correction!