Everyone knows that I’m ill. I have the Byrd Flu. Ha! Seriously now, I can remember when I was younger and I’d be over at a friend’s house and that friend’s mother might say, “Don’t forget to wear a sweater when you go outside, you don’t want to catch a cold!” And I’d be like, “who wears sweaters?” and then “thanks for the advice, crazy lady; Billy, is your mother insane? Yikes! Does she believe in blood-letting too?”

Instead of spouting out spurious advice, like-minded mothers everywhere should read books on the germ theory (tip: it’s more than just a theory.) In those books, they’ll find that colds are, IN FACT, NOT CAUSED by it being COLD outside.

I know, it’s a hard concept to grasp; colds are caused by viruses. When it’s cold outside, more people go inside and the chances of contact with someone who has a cold virus (rhinovirus, etc.) increase. The other way to better your chances of getting a cold is to weaken your immune system, maybe through stress or something. Going outside naked might be enough stress, but forgetting your girlie sweater is not. (Links: Cold causes, It’s not the weather, Seriously, it’s not, do you believe me now?