Wed 20 Dec 2006
(Of course, it already looks a lot like Hanukkah, though it’s not yet looking quite like Kwanzaa.) … Because legions of you know me only through the very skewed lens of my blog, perhaps you think that I’ve already done my holiday shopping. You, kind sir or madam(!) are quite mistaken. I have not yet begun to shop! Nor do I intend to *start shopping* for that matter. I’ve rethought the concept of buying Christmas presents and I’ve decided I’m against it. Before you cast me off as an eccentric curmudgeon, allow me to explain.
When you buy a present, particularly when given a wishlist to buy from, you are essentially acting as that person’s personal assistant (a maid/man-servant if you will.) The gift recipient will know (or will quickly estimate) how much the gift costs and, given a guesstimation of how much you make, will determine if you are a cheapskate*. If your annual income is greater than 50k, for example, you are not allowed to give a Walmart $.99 bobblehead doll or a $5 bargain-bin-florescent orange-hunter-vest as a present — even if you’ve been really, really busy. They (my sister Kristen) will hate you for it. Or so I’ve heard.
So, if you are fiscally conservative and wish to save a few bucks while preserving your reputation this festive season, I strongly recommend this course of action: give gifts that are impossible to value in dollars. My strategy? Make stuff. Previous years I’ve constructed and given: a huge clay buddha, a reproduction of a famous painting done in acrylic on canvas and books of compiled poetry. They’ve been real crowd pleasers.
Giving homemade artsy gifts has an additional bonus; people will have trouble determining how much time you spent. That’s an important aspect because if they know the invested time, they’ll quickly convert the time into dollars. Don’t provide them that advantage!
To that end, a few weeks ago I purchased a number of stretched canvas boards alongside a couple of buckets of paint. This year it’s Jackson Pollock-esque works all around!
* This general theory of gift giving first proposed by Ze Frank
December 20th, 2006 at 4:22 pm
I totally disagree. If you deal with a family that judges you by 1) the amount of money you make and 2) the amount you decide to spend on gifts, then your family is wicked mean to you! The holidays is about spending time with the ones you love and providing thoughtful gifts to one another. Granted, your choice in gifts may be a big off, at least you got them something, eh?
I really disagree with the “making something” part. Sure, it’s nice to make something once and again that has a lot of heart in it and a lot of meaning, but honestly, get them a power drill or barbie set or something depending on who they are and what they want.
If you can only shop based on a “wish-list” provided by your loved ones, then you need to spend more time with them so they don’t need to give you a list of possible options, instead, you get them something they don’t expect but can equally use and enjoy….
Pssh, you mormons!!
–Will
December 20th, 2006 at 5:55 pm
Ryan,
I am definitely in favor of non-shopping & homemade stuff. What with being at a mall for a gazillion hours a week and all… I’m really losing interest in shopping.
But, what do you give when you don’t even have any time? That is my challenge for this year. (Last year I made watercolor paintings for everyone). Maybe I’ll give redeemable-in-January “hang out with me” coupons. I think my people would like that.
December 20th, 2006 at 6:05 pm
Carolynn;
Sorry to butt into your conversation with Ryan, but you can easily order off of Ebay or other sites for cheap prices, clean the items up a bit, spend 2 hours one night wrapping everything, and be good to go
You can get a lot of new cheap items off of Ebay, aswell. It’s quick, too.
–Will
December 20th, 2006 at 6:27 pm
–Carolynn Duncan– I like the coupon idea. In fact, I’ve used it in the past. Perhaps it’s time to dust off my old coupon writing talents and give them a whirl. I mean who *wouldn’t* want a hang-out-with-ryan-byrd coupon?!?! I’ll have to put a hanging out time limit to prevent abuse, of course…
December 20th, 2006 at 11:34 pm
First, William, “The holidays is about spending” .., Where did you go to school? Alaska? ;o)
I am normally happy to get things that I want, and do not worry about their value as far as dollars are concerned. If it is useful to me, then it has value to me.
However, I do like this idea of making stuff for Christmas. It would of saved me a ton of money! And I would hang one of Ryan’s handmade gifts on my wall for sure!
December 20th, 2006 at 11:43 pm
Nice Grady, try to quote the rest of that sentence, alrighty?
–Will
December 21st, 2006 at 10:02 am
William, do you not get that you should of said, “The holidays are about spending” ?? Now, you could of said, “The holiday is about spending” and that would of been ok, but you didn’t do that either.
I did not quote the rest of your sentence, cause it wasn’t funny.
December 21st, 2006 at 10:43 am
Ddem wy mst u cal m3 on my sp3llin errorz?
December 21st, 2006 at 4:33 pm
Wasn’t it a Gamatically correct error too?
Where did you go to school? Alaska…?
/agree
I agree Ryan. I am acquainted with people/family that SAY they aren’t into spending-a-lot for the holidays, but they LIE!!!!!
December 31st, 2006 at 2:22 pm
[…] I’ve had a lot of people email me and ask me to post photos of the Christmas presents I painted. […]