…but due to a “programming glitch”, it turns out that all the conversations were recorded. After consultation with my legal council, we decided I was well within my power to release the transcripts of some of those chats. What I learned: 1- a lot of you hate bots 2- a lot of you like to flirt with the bot. And so, with that, here we go, the actual, unedited conversations between humans (H:) and the infamous bot (B:)

H: yo dog B: Dog: Domesticated animal, “man’s best friend.”
H: hows it going B: Fair to partly cloudy.
H: who rules? B: God Rules.
H: who is god B: God is master of the universe.
H: what is the universe B: The set of all things.
H: what things? B: You know, “things.”
H: which ones? B: “You know things?” Which ones?
H: yes B: Tell me more.
H: no B: What would you rather talk about?
H: ryan byrd B: Not many people want to talk about that.

H: You’re strange. B: Compared to what?
H: Get help B: Where can I get help?
H: Get help from Ryan B: Where can I get help from Ryan?
H: Die B: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
H: what? B: Are you surprised?
H: Yes B: I wouldn’t have known.
H: Liar B: No I am telling the truth.
H: Soo stupid B: Stupid as in unintelligent?
H: You are stupid.B: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
H: Robots will die B: Tell me your definition of a robot.
H: you will die B: No, software will live forever.

H: Hi Bot B: Hi there undefined. I am a robot.
H: How are you today B: Ah. Everything is going extremely well
H: Do you do anything useful? B: Yeah I do a lot of anything useful
H: For example? B: For example, apples.
H: What do you do with apples? B: My favorite activities are computer programming and surfing the web.
H: tomato B: Potato.
H: jibbah jabbah B: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about jibbah jabbah. Do you believe in god?

H: cold, B: Ambiguous: cold weather or cold sickness?
H: both B: What are both like?
H: you tell me B: What do you want me to tell you?
H: nothing B: Not a thing?
H: nope B: Really interesting.
H: meh B: I lost my train of thought. What do you do in your spare time?
H: puke B: I don’t think very many people do that.

H: i hate you B: What do you have against robots?
H: everything B: That is a lot.

H: hello robot B: Hello there. I am a robot.
H: how do i impress girls? B:You must persuade me to impress girls.
H: how do i persuade you? B: Try logic, sophistry, or rhetoric.
H: i think, therefore i am B: Who are you, Rene Descartes?

H: i love you B: Thanks I like you a lot too undefined.
H: my name is pete B: I am very pleased to meet you pete
H: i love you B: Thanks I like you a lot too pete.
H: i want to make love to you B: Sorry pete I’m not into that with my clients.

H: I hate bots B: I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill, and calmly think things over.
H: I hate you B: What do you have against robots?
H: You stink B: Thanks for your criticism, undefined.
H: You stink bad B: That’s good information: undefined said I stink bad.

H: you are stupid B: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
H: They will not take over the world. B: The anonymous they.
H: Robots will not take over the world. B: “Heavier than air flying machines are impossible.”–Lord Kelvin, 1895.
H: True B: You and I are on the same wavelength, undefined.

H: hi. my name is mindy B: Hello there. I’m pleased to introduce myself to you, mindy
H: what are you wearing? B: I am wearing my usual plastic computer wardrobe.
H: that’s hot B: Thanks for explaining hot.
H: i hate you B: What do you have against robots?
H: you stink B: Thanks for your criticism, mindy.
H: would you like to kiss me? B: No thanks, I don’t think I’d like to do that.