Ryan Byrd’s Ramblings

I’m getting a lot of email this week from female RBDN regulars asking for Halloween costume advice. These women have tired of the overwhelming variety of girl costumes available online and in stores including: Sexy Pirate, Sexy School Girl, Sassy Sailor, Cutie Conductor, Sexy Mobster Girl, Sexy Football player, Sexy Vampire, Sexy Navy Girl, Sexy Baseball player, Sexy Pilot, Oriental Delight, French Maid, Sexy Kansas Girl , Sexy French Princess, Sexy Witch, Naughty Nurse, Sinful Nun, and Sexy NASCAR driver.

If your goal to to look like a prostitute, you have lots of options! Strangely enough, many women seem to be looking for something a bit different. Wanting to help my readers, I put on the old thinking cap and have come up with a list of novel costume ideas for you’all. Not all are winners, but I think you’ll find some outside-the-box thinking. I’ve borrowed some good ideas from friends as well. Some costume ideas are for guys, too. Enjoy!

• Wacky
  • You could paint a box to look like a bedside table and glue a mug on top and a small lamp and maybe a pair of eyeglasses. Then cut a hole for your head, arms and body. When people ask what you say you’re a “one night stand.”
  • Some metal tubing and a trip to Walmart and tah dah! you’re the Karate Kid shower
  • A large clock hangs around your neck and some painted cardboard in the shape of a giant hammer and it’s hammer time
  • Circular cardboard with a handle, and two large simulated eggs equals: your brain on drugs
  • A wild-eyed woman with a NASA shirt in diapers is a crazy astronaut
  • Any fast food shirt with a cap and you can go as an English major
  • A large zipper down the front with a “My Name is: Jack” sticker and voila: jack the zipper

• Utah Specific/Mormon Reference
  • Gather up a few girl friends and a guy and you could all go as a polygamist family. The women wear plain looking dresses and put their hair up under a handkerchief. No makeup allowed!
  • Carry a large sign that says “God hates Sinners” and talk in a very loud voice and you’re a General Conference Protester
  • Dress up like the number one and carry a saxophone or a guitar. If people ask what you are, tell them you’re a musical number.

• Formal
  • Ladies Only! A little black dress and a sleek silver briefcase with a million dollar sign and you can be a Deal or No Deal game show Lady (also works as a group theme)

• Political
  • A noose and a “My Name is: Chad” sticker: hanging chad
  • A pillow under your shirt and a “My Name is: Chad” sticker: pregnant chad
  • A surrender sign, a beret, metro-sexual clothing and a strong accent makes you a French Man

And speaking of all things Halloween, have you been to Odyssey Dance Company’s Thriller? You really must go.