slc_airport_tn.jpgAnd so I find myself once again, forced to flee my hometown. Okay, not forced per se, but maybe compelled by a flareup of wanderlust? Whatever the cause, I’m currently sitting in the SLC Airport A terminal, right outside of gate A7, watching people excitedly queue up to get jammed into a sorry excuse for a flying bus. I’ve previously spoken about Southwest and their policy to treat people like livestock. I once even gave tips on how airlines could further mistreat passengers. Today I’m flying JetBlue. JetBlue used to be pretty nifty, what with all their Mormon mom telephone agents. Then they accidentally imprisoned people on an airplane on the tarmac, for, I donno, like a week or so. Then they canceled a ton of flights and now everyone hates them. Even if they do have free in-flight television. Question– when do we get in-flight Internet access? It’s really hard to live without the web, ya know?

When I went to the Ivory Coast, we were VIP and that meant we didn’t have to pass though the airport security (because VIPs never pose threats.) I’m obviously not very important to the Salt Lake International airport, because not only did I have to clear security, they scanned my bags twice. Here’s a new motto for the airline industry; we constantly strive to  make a bad things much, much worse. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very amusing to bathe in the sweet sock stench as the masses uncover their largely misshapen feet and unbelt themselves. It’s curious to think of the geniuses who decided to ban most liquids (state of matter discrimination!) I wonder, too, why they extended the liquid ban to include things which clearly are not liquid– like gels (colloids), pastes, etc. I’d like to know from that same committee of expert security decision makers if it’s okay to bring a bottle of frozen water on board. Frozen water is no longer liquid, after all. Somehow, that nuance I think would be lost on those luminaries. But maybe I’m stirring the pot too much. Troublemakers (and those wearing turbans) get singled out for special consideration (ie, “the wand”, and Mr “I’m going to pat down your private areas with the back of my hand.”)

But here I am, waiting. Not accepting packages from strangers. Not allowing my bags out of sight. anticipating the not-hot stewardesses as they energetically demonstrating the proper workings of a seatbelt (so that’s what that metal buckle does!) Up, up and away!

Flying tip of the day: don’t pack it. You can alway buy there it if you really need it.

Did I resize this blog pic online? yes.