Ryan Byrd’s Ramblings

2008 saw 193 RBDN blog entries, or about one post every two days. Here are some of my favorites, and yes, I know I didn’t have any favorite posts in August. I was out of the country, lo siento.

January

• Worst Pickup Line Ever
• Absurd traveling quotes from my older brother
• In-flight entertainment, at least for me

February

• Banana Flambe
• What kids think

March

• Tattoo Selection Guide
• Conversation starters

April

• And so I bought a bike and rode it inside the office
• The difference between a wife and a dog, according to Darwin
• Book of Mormon cleverness

May

• My fabulous mustache
• Scooterific

June

• Ask Ryan Stuff
• Mustache video interviews

July

• On buying a house
• What’s in your study?

September

• Tiling my bathroom
• Special Effects makeup
• My Bucket List, and no I don’t have cancer

October

• Everything you need to know about Alaska
• An Awesome Old Letter
• Hellish Halloween Handouts

November

• Stacking Bookshelves on my SUV
  
• Blacky-Black Friday
• Poems by a young Ryan Byrd
• Controversial Yes on Prop 8

December

• Graveyard misbehavior
• Odd Collections
• Crazy Interview Questions
• Cabbage PH

Is there a theme? I can’t find one…

How did your 2008 resolutions go? Maybe you remember my 2008 goals.

Regrettably, I did not develop a convincing English accent, sky dive or buy 1 acre of land and dig a 100 ft deep hole with a backhoe in a month.

I did visit SEVEN countries, directed a documentary, and I obtained my motorcycle driver’s license.

2009′s New Year’s Resolutions include:

• Study an hour each (a week) of Spanish, French, Chinese and Arabic with Rosetta Stone
• Benchpress 365 lbs
• Learn to ride a unicycle and juggle (NOT at the same time)
• Learn to golf
• Learn to bake fantastic bread and cookies
• Work at a fast food restaurant for a week
• Make a funny movie
• Become SCUBA certified
• Publish a book
• Learn to play THREE songs well on the guitar
• Set up a ceramics studio in my house
• Program something interesting in dot net
• Study Hebrew and Greek as it pertains to the Old and New Testament
• Visit THREE more new countries
• Turn a profit with at least THREE of my side businesses
• Ride the bus to work

What’s on your list for 2009?

Don’t you hate it when you’re at a party and you’re fresh out of new conversation starters? Well, here are some mildly-interesting facts for your arsenal:

• The word tarp is short for tarpaulin.
• The abbreviation GI (as in GI JOE) does not stand for Government Issue, but rather Galvanized Iron.
• To know which side of the car your gas tank is on, simply look at the fuel level indicator for a small arrow pointing to the correct side.
• The word muscle comes from the Latin mus, meaning mouse, and cul, meaning little. So, muscle means little mouse. Dictionary.com says, “from fancied resemblance to some muscles.”

thx little sis and dad for two of these facts!

26 completely random iPhone photos of things I may or may not find amusing.

December Ramblings as Captured on my iPhone

Click the image for the complete gallery

It’s after one AM and I’m still awake making the last of the Christmas presents. A few hours ago the family came over and we had lots of good food and watched a movie about the birth of Christ. In full disclosure, I’ve not been a huge fan of the holiday for the last few years– when you’re my age in Utah and (gasp) unmarried, Christmas is a perpetual reminder of your single status. Still, I love the season– I went and saw the Festival of Trees earlier this month. I enjoy the music, the food, the giving spirit.

Christmas encourages us, as did its namesake, to act better than we normally do, to give a little more, to be kinder. It’s a time of peace and that reminds me of a singular event which took place during World War I. It was Christmas Eve, 1914 and German Troops in their trenches in Ypres Belgium began singing Stille Nacht (Silent Night.) The UK troops on the other side started, in turn, to join in with other Christmas Carols. Shooting and artillery stopped, and many soldiers from both sides meet in the middle, on No Man’s Land, to exchange small gifts. The momentary, unofficial truce also allowed the recently fallen men to be buried.

Christmas also encourages us to be grateful. I’m thankful for family, friends, music, art, technology, truth, wisdom and freedom. Oh, and intense, passionate, clever, funny, good people. Whadda ’bout you?

as promised…

Prominent blogger and cyber wunderkind, Brian Joel, asked me to say a thing or two about collections– I told him it was unconscionable that those blood-sucking, ravenous vultures harass you both night and day at home and at work never letting — he interrupted me at this point to clarify, he wanted my thoughts on collections of items, like stamps and what not.

I composed myself, put down the iron fireplace poker I had wrested into a knot, and begin to rattle off the list of things I collect: swords, foreign currency, address labels of things I’ve ordered under pseudonyms, exotic insects, energy drinks, period battle armor and books. You know, common everyday stuff. I’ve included two pictures of those collections for you. Maybe I’ll get around to photographing some of the others.

Candidly, I don’t consider myself a very avid collector– I don’t go to extreme lengths to get the very last item in a set or anything. I simply amass stuff because it’s amusing and or awesome.

So… What do you collect? and why?

Today is my third day in the Palmetto State (the Palmetto is a type of tree– and it’s on the SC state flag. The other feature on the flag is not a backwards moon (as you might imagine,) but an early army symbol.) This morning we visited a couple of cemeteries where, between searching for ancestors’ tombstones, I took a lot of pictures of funny names on graves– is that wrong?!? Something about the name Hamer on a grave made me think, “it was hamer’s time.” I know, I know, I’m going to Hell. I’ll post a few more grave pics in a gallery soon as proof of my wild irreverence.

And I don’t mean to air dirty laundry, but maybe I have colorful relatives. Maybe my nearly 90 year old uncle runs around cavorting with the ladies like he is 1/4 his age. Maybe he recently painted his house bright purple. And then put up a giant image of a grinning cowboy out front. Maybe he’s crazy. As a fox.

People here in the South can’t seem to forget the past, any maybe that’s a good thing. Marion is named after General Francis Marion, the Swamp Fox. Remember him from History class? I continue to be enamored with the Southern Charm, the slow pace, the hospitality, and the food. Tonight we had butter beans, fat back (a think bacon) and chicken and waffles. And that was just for dinner. They’re good down here.

They’re funny, too. There are a lot of awesome billboards and signs I’ve spotted as we travel around. Because I’m driving, I haven’t been able to photograph many of them. One said, “Educated People Know the Bible”, and I suppose that’s true, but it seems like an odd incentive for reading the Good Word. Outside a restaurant, another sign reads, “real chicken.” I don’t know what that is suggesting about other dining establishments…

Miss me yet?!?

We just touched down in Columbia, and yet there are neither Colombians nor Spanish speakers to be found. Ha! South Carolina is a quaint, welcoming state, where the pace is relaxed and the pronounced southern drawl endearing. To wit– instead of the standard industrial benches, this SC airport lobby is furnished with large, white wooden rocking chairs.

Welcome to the South!