Ryan Byrd’s Ramblings

So, we have timeout, my parent’s ill-fated point system, grounding and lecturing, but what about spanking kids? Spare the rod, spoil the child?*  A new study at Duke University:

Berlin and colleagues found that children who were spanked as 1-year-olds tended to behave more aggressively at age 2, and did not perform as well as other children on a test measuring thinking skills at age 3.

Interestingly enough, there was racial/ethnic division in spanking:

At all three ages, African-American children were spanked significantly more frequently than those from white and Mexican-American families, and verbally punished more than the other children at ages 2 and 3, the study said.

That’s not to say spanking is not effective at altering behavior:

Robert Larzelere, associate professor of human development and family science at Oklahoma State University, conducted a meta-analysis of 26 studies on the subject, and found that, overall, spanking seemed more effective than 10 of 13 alternative disciplinary methods for getting a child to behave or do as asked.

So, what do you think? To spank your kids or not?

* That adage is actually from the bible: “He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24) and “Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell.” (Proverbs 23:13-14)

This recent article from LiveScience reviews a study that concludes that lying as a parenting technique is surprisingly common. From the article

We are surprised by how often parenting by lying takes place

said study researcher Kang Lee of the University of Toronto, Canada.

Our findings showed that even the parents who most strongly promoted the importance of honesty with their children engaged in parenting by lying.

So, seasoned parents, do you lie to your children? Do, you tell them the Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy/Santa Claus is real? That babies come from storks? That you took took the family dog to live on a farm in the country? That theyare the prettiest girl/most handsome boy in the world?  That it’s cold outside – if they don’t bundle up they’re going to get sick?

Is honesty the best policy?

I’m not a parent yet, obviously, but as a thirty year old soon-to-be-husband, I have some catching up to do before I can be the bona fide parent you’d expect from a person of my age. So, when I came across this article, I got to thinking about my future kids and their allowances.  Some questions for you seasoned parents:

• Should we only pay for extra chores?
• How much money should I give my kid? How much does it increase with age?
• Should we let them spend it on what they want OR should we require them to save a portion of it? How much should kids save? 10%
• Coins, bills, or a savings account?
• How old before kids start getting an allowance?
• How often should we give them allowance?
• What can kids buy with the money they earn? Candy? Video games? A TV for their room? Their own DVD player? Guns?
• Should kids get a 401k account? Should parents match 5% up to $5,000?
• When should I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad to them? the E-Myth?

How does your family handle children’s chores and their money?

When people come to my wedding, I want them to think “this is freaking high tech!” Just kidding, but what I don’t want them to think is, “%^&# another freaking long line to wait in.” If you went to the Leonardo in SLC for the Body Worlds exhibit last year, you saw a perfect solution for crowd-sourcing queue entertainment– a 30 foot projection of an animated skeleton triggered by received text messages.  The tech magic was created by a company called txtualhealing, but it’s no big feat and can be easily replicated– which is what I intend on doing. At the Rachel and Ryan wedding reception, you’ll see a slideshow-ish projection with nifty engagement photos but along the side of those photos will be moderated marriage advice texted in BY YOU as you stand in line. It will be great. Just you wait and see!

Some of you have heard that we’re filming a short movie to show at the reception as well. That’s true. It will be awesome. And in French (with subtitles). And produced by TimberShark Media. Stay tuned.

For the technical readers, the text-your-wedding-advice app will be a PHP/AJAX tied into a google-voice account (via the unofficial API). Yes, Google bought GrandCentral. Yes, Google taking over the world. Yes, our reception will be da bomb.

It’s been another crazy week at the Aviary*. We finally cleaned up the upstairs rooms so they are no longer a sea of clothes. My clothes had spread out onto the floors of THREE bedrooms and two closets– that after already taking up four ceiling-high bookcases and two chests of drawers. After the apparel intervention, what resulted was four large black garbage bags (the kind used for leaves) full of clothes for DI. Maybe I had too many things to wear? Maybe you would have never guessed given that I sport Hawaiian print shirts and jeans all the time. But I didn’t wear an Aloha shirt on Friday night when we went to see comedian Jim Gaffigan at Kingsbury hall. Yes, he performed his famous bacon and hot pocket jokes. Yes, I laughed out loud for two straight hours. Yes, Rachel somehow fell asleep, despite the boisterous, drunken crowd. It was a long week for her with school and work. Still, with her busy schedule, she managed to help me with my new dietary requirements. After my decennial doctor visit, I was informed that I have high cholesterol, so I have to cut down on certain foods and eat fresh vegetables. But not potatoes because they’re apparently bad vegetables. Regardless, we’ve eaten a number of awesome potatoes from the garden and speaking of which, the garden was a fantastic success this year– wonderful corn, tomatoes, zucchini, pears, etc. Next year, we’ll double or triple the size of the garden plot and plant peas and beans and pumpkins and watermelon and strawberries. Next year, I’d like to get chickens too and maybe a goat or a pygmy cow. Do they have pygmy milk cows? Either that or cheetah. I’d love to have a feral cat roaming the backyard. Oh, and speaking of pumpkins, look out for a freaking awesome Halloween pumpkin carving party invitation. obviously, costumes will be required. We’re getting good at hosting events. On Sunday, Rachel invited a few of her close friends over for some pot roast which turned out to be really good (and high in cholesterol.)  On Saturday we joined some other friends for a campfire up AF Canyon at a cabin at Tibble Fork Reservoir where we roasted hot dogs (Rach ate three raw. Gross.) The cabin setup was idyllic and it made me want to take a few months off and live in a snowed-in cabin with my new wife-to-be and a good hunting dog and write a book or a bunch of short stories or my memoirs. Of course, it also got me thinking about about stockpiling firewood in case of a giant snowstorm. Anyone know where I can buy a dump truck full of split firewood? They come in “cords”, right?

What else? Well, we revived the hydragea plant (they don’t like the outside direct heat), cut my finger moving a bed and had a ketchup fight at Wendys. Rachel asked for a kitten, and then a puppy this week. I think we’ll get a puppy soon. Maybe my original idea of two puppies was a bit much to begin with. Still, I want a German Shepard. The backyard continues to improve. It’s all grassed in now, and the sod is taking well. Of course it’s a bit bumpy in some areas. Oh and I went to school with Rachel on Thursday morning. I attended her French class. It was cool to re-learn a few french grammar rules that I had forgotten. Rachel expressed a desire to go to Europe, so I think that might be the first Rachel and Ryan trip next year– to Paris! We already have a Paris Fund jar for coins. We figure we’ll need $3500.00. The hornets have built several new nests around the back porch and yes, I’ve tired of killing them. Have the porch, stupid flying insets! Let’s not forget that while playing with Rachel’s family’s dogs I might have stepped in rather fragrant dog stuff. Which might have caused me to spend 1/2 hour trying to clean my shoes. Curses upon Adidas shoes and their mini grooved treads! They’re impossible to clean. What else? I got the 4runner back from the shop. It looks good as new. Better actually. I think they upgraded the headlight assembly. I also got a 120 dollar fine for negligent collision from the fascist Sandy police. Somehow we also managed to find time to feed the ducks the bread left over from the engagement announcement party. This despite Rachel’s mortal fear of all things avian. Yes, she predictably sprinted away from the pond when a large goose stepped ashore, but I still love her. A LOT.

What’s on the agenda for this week? Well, I’m aiming to move five trees from the center to the border of the yard. Then I’d like to use some top soil to level out the yard. I’d like to get a small shed and use it to store the yard tools to free up the garage. I’m going to put new flooring, shelving and desktop space in the robot room and move all the electronics gear back into that room. I’d like to get my office set up. What have you been up to?

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* thx, Spig

Four hours of modeling later, our engagement photo session was finally over. The photographer, Tiffanie, has mad skills- she directed our every pose with precision. We’ll save the best for the actual invites, but here are a few pics for ya, including one that my blog software cropped off my head for the thumbnail– click each for the slightly-larger versions.

It’s been insanely busy this week. Really. Let’s review. I announced my engagement on RBDN and Facebook. I threw a HUGE party to celebrate. I finished covering my back lawn in sod (370 square feet). I went to an ultimate fighting match in Spanish Fork. Rach and I got dressed up and went to a classy restaurant where she did NOT like eating authentic french food. I crashed into the back of a Nissan Centra, destroying my front fender. We booked our wedding reception center, chose our caterer and photographer and solicited parents for wedding funds. We painted a vintage bird cage, finished billing my clients, went to Walmart a dozen times, got two dental crowns, ran home from church, drank energy drinks so we could stay up all night and watch old movies, put up curtains in the kitchen and dining room, killed a GIANT hobo spider in my garage, went antiquing, went to the Gateway to see the Brazilian festival and shop for clothes, bought expensive jeans, got two new-ish couches for the piano room, ate gelato at a spiffy Italian restaurant, went to the doctor for a ganglion cyst on my wrist, decided to bash my wrist against a bookshelf to make the cyst go away (it did go away) , did push-ups with my co-workers (on Friday, I did 55 all at once), helped Rach with French homework (remember, for -er verbs: -e, -es, e, ons, ez, ent) and I moved the Love Sac upstairs.

Maybe some pictures will help:

How was your week?

surprisingly enough, and to substantiate your guesses. it’s true, i’m getting married. and no, Cory, this is not a joke. i’m now officially engaged. and not to a Russian mail order bride. but to a real, live, Mormon woman. a smart, funny, beautiful, good woman whom i adore. who happens to like me.

I’ve known her for nearly two years, but we’ve only barely started exclusively dating. yes, we know it’s fast. Provo-style. and yes, i know that fools rush in. it feels right to me though, so i’m going on that.

i followed my diamond boycott and got her a non-diamond engagement ring (white sapphire!). she designed it herself and loves it.

to those who thought this day would never come, who secretly thought i was anti-marriage and afraid of commitment, who believed that i was way too immature, well, there you have it. maybe I’ve changed? grown up?

to all who introduced me to your lady friends, to those who wanted the promised cruise or the $7k, I applaud your efforts and thank you sincerely. in the end, however, I ended up meeting rachel at a prior employment. just recently her facebook status changed from dating to single, which triggered a firestorm of text messages from my buddies to me, compelling me to act. and act i did.

things went well. we became fast friends. after six dates in rapid succession, she, then somewhat irritated, asked if i was finally going to kiss her. i quickly decided that might not be a bad idea. apparently it went well for both of us. last weekend, we drove up to Seattle and I surprised her by dropping to a knee and proposing to her on the beach as the nighttime Seattle skyline reflected off the still, blue waters of the Puget Sound. she said yes. and now you know.

what’s new with you?

the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT WILL BE POSTED HERE AT 9:00 PM MDT TONIGHT! STAY TUNED. Until then, enjoy a few images detailing what would happen if you printed the Internet.

src: http://www.cartridgesave.co.uk/news/if-you-printed-the-internet/

I guess you’d like to know the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT. Don’t worry, that comes tomorrow. Today, we have photo ramblings, mostly from my iPhone.