Ryan Byrd’s Ramblings

Since the announcement of our engagement, advice-givers have come out of the woodwork. “You know,” they frequently say, “a happy marriage isn’t easy; you really have to work at it.” That got me thinking. How hard is mirthful matrimony? Is it harder than juggling flaming knives while riding a unicycle? Harder than drinking a gallon of milk in an hour? Harder than negotiating a terrorist hostage situation?

To answer this question, I’m proposing the Ryan Byrd Life Difficulty Rating (RBLDR) Scale. It attempts to assign a hardness value to situations and tasks you might come across. A zero on the scale would be something easy, like having a really attractive person feed you freshly baked cookies. The scale tops out at 100. A 100 RBLDR (pronounced ‘RIBD-ler’) might be watching someone you love make a fatal mistake and not being able to prevent it all the while being forced to eat a dead rat while trapped in a sinking enemy submarine. on fire. while being attacked by a hobo. That would probably be a 100. Below are some RBLDR ratings. Feel free to disagree

Having a happy marriage – 65
Raising good kids – 60
Juggling – 20
Ending a serious long term romantic relationship – 80
Breaking a drug addiction – 90
Riding a unicycle – 30
Being an honest politician – 50
Being a professional athlete/movie star/musician and not cheating on your spouse – 90
Performing well at work after three weeks sleeplessness because of sick kids – 45
Admitting you’ve really messed up to someone you admire – 38
Learning to speak Chinese as a second language – 74
Graduating with an electrical engineering degree – 49
Predicting what women are thinking – 99