Ryan Byrd’s Ramblings

Collected Internet wisdom to start your day:

• Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
• Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
• A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
• A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
• The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
• Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
• My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
• Peeing in your pants is like happiness, everyone can see it but only you can feel its warmth! (thanks, Rachel!)