I just have three things to say. First of all, the word is pronounced PRE-scription not PER-scription.
Secondly, if we’re talking medicinal, you want to know something that is broken in the health care system? I’ll tell you: pharmacies. What value does a pharmacist add? None. They can be immediately replaced by vending machines and websites (thx, Zach.) I can read my own labels, thank you very much.
Finally, why are many non-addictive medications by prescription anyway? Here’s an example: ibuprofen. You can buy OTC ibuprofen, and they usually come in 200mg tablets. 200mg doesn’t do anything useful, so what do people do? They take 4-8 of them. If you go to a doctor with a bad headache, they’ll prescribe you ibuprofen in 800mg tablets. I’m sorry Mom, but that’s retarded. Ibuprofen doesn’t need to be by prescription. Here’s another: Liptor. Lipitor is used for reducing cholesterol. “But wait,” Mr. Wily protests, “what if a user bought Lipitor and decided to take more than the label suggested? That would be bad.” Indeed, but the side effects of Lipitor are headache and muscle soreness, hardly cause for alarm. On the other hand, too much of lots of OTC drugs can be harmful as well. For example, excessive Tylenol can hurt your liver, but Tylenol isn’t by prescription. Why?
While I’m at it, doctors themselves are close to obsolete. The Internet is making elite bearers of information unnecessary. When I last went to the doctor for a checkup, he GOOGLED a symptom during our visit. GOOGLED. I can google. Thanks for charging me for your web surfing.
Our GoDaddy Commercial, featuring RYAN BYRD, from RBDN, has been accepted into the contest. Please vote your conscience. Please vote how you truly feel about the commercial. Please give us 5 stars! When we win, there will be a HUGE PARTY. The wine* will flow freely. We will not spare the fatted calf. It will be a Bacchanalian, Saturnalian delight. So, let’s vote us up and let the festivities begin.
UPDATE: And remember, you can vote once a day for each video, so VOTE OFTEN.
1. Do they have a fourth of July in England?
* Yes * No 2. In baseball, how many outs are there in an inning?
* 1 * 3 * 6 * 9 * 15 * 27 3. The Spanish Civil War, which began July 17 of 1936, was fought between:
* Spain and Germany * Mexico and the United States * The Allies and the Axis * Spain and Italy * None of these 4. A red house is made from red bricks, a blue house is made from blue bricks, a pink house is made from pink bricks, and a black house is made from black bricks. What is a greenhouse made from?
* Wood * Green Bricks * Moss-covered stones * Glass * Red Bricks 5. Lee’s parents emigrated from China. They have five children. The first four are named La, Le, Li, and Lo. What did they name the fifth? * Lala * Lu * Lee * Susan * There is not sufficient information to guess. 6. If there are five apples, and you take away three, how many do you have?
* 0 * 1 * 2 * 3 * 4 * 5 7. If all of Australia sank into the ocean, which of the following would become the world’s new largest island?
* Greenland * New Guinea * Borneo * Great Britian * Sumatra * None of these 8. Two U.S. coins are worth a total of $0.30, and one of them is not a nickel. What are the coins?
* This is impossible. * One nickel, and one quarter. * Three dimes. * Two dimes and two nickels. 9. John digs a hole that is 2 yards wide, 3 yards long, and 1 yard deep. How many cubic feet of dirt are in it?
* 0 * 1 * 2 * 3 * 6 * 9 10. If the Vice President of the United States died, who would be President?
* The Speaker of the House. * The Senate Majority Leader. * The Secretary of State. * The President. * The President Pro Temp. 11. Some months have 31 days, and some months have 30 days. But how many have 28 days?
* 1 * 2 * 3 * 5 * 8 * 12 12. Due to a birth defect, a boy is born with 14 toes, 11 fingers, and 3 thumbs. How many fingernails does the boy have?
* 0 * 10 * 11 * 14 * 22 * 28
Earth Day is when the bleary-eyed hippies stumble out of their beat-up, old vans (parked down by the river) to complain that the earth is getting too hot, or that we’re running out of oil, or that pot should be legal (that was mainly two days ago, actually.) I know what you’re thinking, “Ryan, let’s go rough up some hippies at the rally!” But no! Though I embrace most of the capitalistic ideals of Republicans, I am not in line with their “the world is an endless resource to be ravished without thought” mantra. I am very much in favor of alternative energy sources.
Let’s be honest, oil is dirty and the people who sell it (middle easterners, Venezuelans) hate Americans with a passion. We’re paying $3 a gallon to “Death to America, Allah Akbar” screaming terrorists. And then we have the stagnant oil technology– the internal combustion engine. Could *anything* be as inefficient, complex, and error-prone as the gas engine? May a pox be upon the heads of Nikolaus August Otto and Rudolf Diesel (inventors of gasoline and diesel engines). For nearly 100 years there have been NO SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENTS in gas engine technology*. For the love, the freaking Model T got 21 MPG, while the average US car gets 19.8 MPG.
It’s time to move on. Down with the complex gasoline infrastructure (gas stations, oil changing stations, transmissions and cooling shops, emissions testing, refineries, ethanol additives, etc.) Down with big oil conglomerates financially raping Americans who are floundering in a depression. Down with those who are afraid to introduce innovation for fear of upsetting the status quo.
The solution? Electric**. With all-electric vehicles you have none of those drawbacks. Tesla Motors, please save us all!
* fuel injection?
** Will the hybrid people please go away? Your annoying Prius cars in the HOV lane make me want to regurgitate. You’re by and large a bunch of weak-willed, fence sitters who remind me of the Neville Chamberlain appeasement strategies towards Hitler. Gas (like Hitler) needs to go! (thx, Godwin’s Law)
That’s not to say Mitzi is without redeeming qualities. If you need random holes dug in your garden, she will gladly accommodate you. She’s a great alarm clock, if you don’t mind being awakened at 3:00am by howls and whines. She’ll also help lighten the weight of your purse or wallet with multiple trips to the vet (giardia, hernia, ovary removal, shots), substantial quantities of dog food and the many dog leashes she has chewed through.
But now it sounds like I’m the one howling and whining. Having Mitzi in our home has taught Rachel and me a number of lessons:
Patience – with training, potty training. She has a short (zero?) puppy attention span and she is overwhelming hyperactive. Patience is a must.
Cleanliness – leave it out and Mitzi will eat, drink or chew it. It pays to pick up.
Planning/organization- logistics with constant food and water and shelter/comfort considerations. Road trips aren’t as easy anymore. Everything needs a plan.
Love/charity/selflessness/hope- in the end, we do have a good -looking dog that has lots of potential. Mitzi! Quit being a demon dog!