The only thing worse than a liberal is a PETA liberal. Okay, I guess an atheist, PETA liberal is worst of all, but we’re getting into some serious redundancies here. If you are a PETA supporter, and WHO ISN’T?!? Then you need to adhere to these PETA 10 Commandments:
- Remember, animals are people too!
- Suffering is always wrong, unless you’re a mink farmer or a Japanese whaler.
- Insects have feelings too (probably.)
- Ultimate moral dilemma: a panda bear eating a spotted owl.
- When in doubt, use a nude celebrity in an ad campaign.
- If you eat meat, you’re a bloody animal! (unless you’re an *actual* animal, then it’s okay.)
- Acceptable PETA hobbies: organic farming, near-eastern spirituality, yoga and medicinal cannabis.
- All animals have rights, unless those animals are homo sapien farmers.
- It’s better for deer to die of starvation than to allow redneck hunters to thin the herd.
- If all else fails, compare chicken suffering to that of rape victims or holocaust Jews.
Have a heart — go vegetarian!