Ryan Byrd’s Ramblings

Is a crepe merely a thin pancake or is it something much more? Is it a delicate reminder of elegant, refined tastes? Is it a ambidextrous receptacle of foods both sugary and savory? Is it the veritable, preferred food of the Gods? Many think so.

Got a sweet tooth? You can spoon in Nutella, powdered sugar, pudding, strawberries, raspberries, creme cheese, whipped cream (make it yourself with heavy cream and sugar…), sliced bananas, chocolate, hazelnuts, almonds, cinnamon, blueberries, huckleberries, pineapple, mango, papaya, peaches, apples, nectarines, ice cream, maple syrup, agave, lemon or nutmeg.

In the mood for something more filling? Try a non-sugar crepe filled with melted cheeses, chicken, turkey, prosciutto, egg, mushroom, bacon,  asparagus or peppers.

What’s in a Basic French Crepe?

INGREDIENTS

* 1 cup all-purpose flour
* 1 teaspoon white sugar
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
* 3 eggs
* 2 cups milk
* 2 tablespoons butter, melted

DIRECTIONS

1. Mix dry ingredients.
2. Separately, mix eggs and milk. Add flour mixture. Beat until smooth; stir in melted butter.
3. Lightly oil the crepe pan. Over medium high heat,  pour in 1/4 cup of batter, tilting pan to spread thinly. Brown on both sides.
4. Add filling, and enjoy hot.

Isn’t it time you made a crepe?

In the recent gardening blog post, I alluded to an exciting exercising announcement. Here it is: I’m on P90X!

Someone once said I had the physique of a Greek god. Well, the joke’s on that person because there is no Greek God of Pork Rinds (I checked.)

Tony Horton is a mostly-annoying fitness fanatic. He has intense, almost creepy eyes. He’s also the creator of P90X and it’s his high-energy, unctuous mug that tries to motivate you through each exercise DVD (which last about 1 1/2 hours.) I will give him this: the exercises actually seem to be doing good. I’ve only been on the program for a week, but I already feel better and I can now leap over buildings. (small buildings)

Horton’s P90X* program consists of a set of 13 DVDs which put you through workouts like: Chest & Back, Plyometrics, Shoulders & Arms, Yoga**, Legs & Back, Kenpo, Stretch, Core Synergistics, Chest, Shoulders & Triceps, Back & Biceps, Cardio, and Ab Ripper***.

I don’t want to look so “cut” I resemble a emaciated, skeletal-ly cadaver, but I’d like to combat the effects of having a full-time office job, you know, slim down the muffin top a bit, maybe be able to stand up without grunting, stuff like that.

For p90X you’ll need free weights (or stretchy bands****) and a pull-up bar. Oh, and some spare time, around 90 minutes or so a day. And of course you’ll need a TV and a DVD player.

I haven’t forgotten the President’s Adult Fitness Challenge — I need to improve my flexibility — my goal? 24 inches in sit and reach. I’m hoping the P90x extreme yoga will help with that. If not, maybe I need a leg stretching machine?

I know hordes of you are hoping I’m going to post a before and after pics just so you can see me topless. Well, that isn’t likely to a happen in this public forum. You’ll have to go get your hedonistic delights elsewhere!

The P90x website announces: ‘For those who wanted to really “bring it”, P90X was developed as the ramped up, intense progression from the original Power 90.’ Oh, consider it broughten, Mr Horton!

Are you fat too? Whatcha going to do ’bout it?

* The 90 is for 90 days. the x is for extreme. The p is for power
** I’ve done yoga before– it’s not easy
*** No abs are actually torn or lacerated in the ab-ripper exercise, as far as I can tell
**** I don’t use stretchy bands. I don’t even like the word stretchy

UPDATE: Our prediction notwithstanding, Huntsman won the governorship with nearly 78% of the vote. Dell Schanze did come in a respectable third with 2.61% or 22,905 votes. That twenty-two thousand people voted for him is truly amazing…

Although most state media networks are claiming the Utah gubernatorial race is too close to call, we here at RBDN, after extensive consultation with our analysts and after reviewing the early exit polls, are calling this one for Mr. Dell Schanze. We’d like to remind you of SUPERDELL’s personal statement, as seen in the Voter Information Guide:

SUPERDELL is your only choice because YOU didn’t file. Huntsman took away your freedoms and raised taxes more than any governor in the history of Utah. Springmeyer has admitted that he doesn’t care about the constitution. The definition of the word insane is voting for the same people while expecting change. There is no question that Dell Schanze is different. There are only 3 people on the ballot and SUPERDELL is the only one that is NOT socialist. If you are unsure then fill your heart with love, completely open your mind and pray to God earnestly. You can’t afford to get this wrong and will be held accountable for your choice.

Anonymous sources are reporting incumbent Republican Governor Jon Huntsman Jr. already conceding this race. (Full disclosure: Huntsman was a long time buyer of Totally Awesome Computers)

Our fact checkers report that Schanze raised over $12.00 for his successful governorship campaign. Be sure to visit Governor Schanze’s Blog and to join the Dell Facebook group. Congratulations Dell Schanze!

Perhaps as penance for my recent spate of offensive, hate-filled blog posts I’ve been dispatched to the barren frozen tundra of the northern lands to think over my “attitude problem.” More to the point– I’m headed to Alaska for a few weeks. Do they have Internet access (electricity?) in Alaska? I’m not sure. I do know it’s bitterly cold there (currently 7 degrees). I do know that good-looking Sarah Palin lives there. Also, Eskimo pies (as well as Eskimos) are indigenous to the region. Other than that, I know little of the hulking, enigmatic state.

Admittedly, though my clime preferences lean more towards tropical, I’m excited to explore the area and report my findings. Maybe while there, I’ll visit, as did my intrepid forefather, Admiral Richard E. Byrd, the North Pole? Maybe I’ll see evidence of global warming? Maybe I’ll dine on fresh salmon, lobster and crab? Rest assured, I’ll document it all for your blog-reading pleasure.

For the record, a kilogram refers to mass, not weight**. Weight is the force of gravity on your mass. Your mass can be 100kg, but your WEIGHT is measured in newtons (or pounds*), which are units of force. If we assume that the acceleration of gravity on earth is 9.8 m/s/s, then someone massing 100kg weighs 980 newtons (because F=ma).

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming…

*yes, the unit of mass in the English system is the slug

**thank you mr gonick for reminding me of this important fact.

Once again we have my favorite holiday, International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Helpful Pirate Resources:

• How to talk like a pirate video clip
• Pirate Name Generator

And here are a few awesome pirate phrases to season your conversations today:

• Aaaarrrrgggghhhh! - exhortation of discontent or disgust
• Avast ye – stop and check this out or pay attention
• Blimey! – exhortation of surprise
• Booty – treasure
• Doubloons – other coins or found in pirate hoards and stashes
• Lad, lass, lassie – a younger person
• Landlubber – big, slow clumsy person who doesn’t know how to sail
• Pillage – rob, sack or plunder
• Scurvy dog – the pirate is talking directly to you with mild insult
• Seadog – old pirate or sailor
• Yo Ho Ho – cheerful exhortation to demand attention
  

Yep, that ol’ Diamond Boycott Petition is just a few sigs away from 1,000. If you haven’t signed the anti-diamond petition, I encourage you to read up on diamonds and consider the awful effects they’ve had on the world’s 3rd world populations. Boycotting diamonds will slow some of these effects– I urge you to sign the petition. If you’ve already signed, now is a great time to spread the word by sending an email to a friend about the diamond boycott. Here’s a cool graph I made in Excel to show the growth:

I’m very recently back from my quick Europe trip. It’s good to be in the US of A. There’s no place like home. Here’s a sweet pic of me in the Frankfurt airport happily waiting while Delta screwed up our flights. You’ll note the safari vest, the scruffy facial hair, the awesome tee and the cola bottle gummy candy (best on earth). Thanks to all those who emailed me while I was away. Some have asked if I was wearing a GPS satellite tracking device. I was, but it didn’t work very well sadly…

I was bored recently, so I bought a house. Then I rented a 25 foot moving van and loaded it to the ceiling (with the help of the amazing Tavish) with 29 years of stuff I hadn’t gotten around to throwing away yet.

Obviously, as soon as I moved in everything broke: AC, Electrical, Plumbing, etc. Consequently, I’ve been busy patching, repairing, tweaking, mowing, weed-wacking, spraying, installing, furnishing, unpacking, decorating, fighting the wasps, irrigating, and sorting through boxes. Thank you to all those who have helped with these tasks!

Oh, the house had an aging wooden swing set in the back yard (which I promptly tore down and made a roman solider from…)

The sad, yet seemingly inevitable, day has arrived– Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon University professor famous for his last lecture about facing his incurable pancreatic cancer passed away today.

Our thoughts go out to his wife and children. The world will miss this inspirational man.

thanks CGA for the tip