Ryan Byrd’s Ramblings

Who said RBDN wasn’t instructional? Well, here is a video that might save your life one day, complements of our buddy Tyler:

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bottle break video (larger)

And now in slow motion!

UPDATE: it’s been five minutes and I’ve already been contacted three times by concerned parties about the nature of this blog post. No, I’m not an alcoholic. It’s my understanding that lighting the rum on fire in a boiling sauce is enough to cook out the alcohol.

A lot of you know that I’ve taken up cooking lately. Some day I’ll go to chef school. Until then, I’ll continue to dabble. I’ve had several requests for some of my favorite alcohol-flavored dishes. Here’s one that’s as fun to make as it is good to eat. Plus, you get to go to the State Liquor store, which is exciting if you’re a teetotaler like myself.

At the Liquor store, pick up a small bottle of Rum. It should cost less than 7 dollars. There are lots of types of Rum: Light, Dark and Flavored. For this dessert, you’ll need dark rum. Dark rum is honey colored. I prefer Bacardi Anejo, which is a bit more expensive than others, but provides a great taste. Any dark rum should do, however.

• Turn heat to medium on a large sauce pan
• Add 1/2 cup of brown sugar, a tablespoon or so of vanilla extract, and a 1/4 of a stick of butter
• Wait until the sugar and butter melt
• Add in a teaspoon or two of cinnamon, a pinch of nutmeg, and a pinch of salt
• Stir it all together
• Peel and cut in half bananas before slicing them down the middle
• Lay the banana slabs into the liquid, spooning the sauce over the bananas to coat them
• Cook for a few minutes, maybe 5 or so, until the bananas soften. The sauce will begin to boil
• Add 1/2 cup of dark Bacardi rum
• Use a match to light the rum on fire
• The rum will burn with a nice flame for 10-15 seconds (this is the cool part, maybe turn the lights down low)
• Spoon some more of the sauce over the bananas
• Prepare bowls of vanilla ice cream, and add the bananas with sauce (this is called “plating”, so be artistic!)

Enjoy!

(Banana Flambé is also sometimes called Banana Foster)

Everyone remembers those nifty Polaroid cameras that produced an instant square picture (well, after a minute of “shak[ing] it like a Polaroid picture.”) Those cameras were a novelty indeed, but the Polaroid company failed to enter the digital camera market in time, and like most companies who don’t capitalize on new opportunities, Polaroid died. More specifically, ‘On October 11, 2001, Polaroid Corporation filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Almost all the company’s assets (including the “Polaroid” name itself) were sold to a subsidiary of Bank One. They went on to form a new company, which also operates under the name “Polaroid Corporation”. It continues to sell Polaroid-branded products and has extensively licensed the name to other companies.’

What this means to you is that Walmart, and other purveyors of low-quality electronics, now sell Polaroid-branded cheap Chinese imports like LCDs, plasma televisions and portable DVD players. The idea is that you’ll recognize the Polaroid brand and buy the inferior garbage without much inspection or review. Not content with prostituting the name solely to hardware manufacturers, the Polaroid shell company has now begun licensing its name to software vendors. Just tonight I clicked past an infomercial for a Polaroid scrap-booking program.

Don’t be fooled. Polaroid is dead. Any products now baring that name should be evaluated on their merits alone. You’ll not get any guarantee of quality by choosing a familiar name. In fact, the contrary is likely true.

Let’s review the RDBN Halloween posts, shall we? (Are you proud of me for staying on topic so long? The last time this happened was the beloved Bot Week.) So far we have:

• Scary Halloween Lists — for your movie making delight
• Classic Literature to Set a Scary Mood — ’cause you can’t beat the oldies
• Ghost Caught on Camera — boo!
• Friends, Romans, Countrymen — or tales of a super costume
• Haunted Gingerbread Castle — price reduced for quick sale!
• Halloween for the rest of us — awesome costume ideas
• Happy Halloween! (unless you think it’s evil) — a Halloween survey

Halloween Facts

• The name Dracula means “son of Satan”
• Dracula is based on Vlad the Impaler (1431 - 1476)
• Vampires dislike mirrors and silver
• Excommunicated people, unbaptized children, criminals, babies born with teeth, witches, magicians, and the seventh son of a seventh son can all become vampires
• The movie Van Helsin pulls its namesake from Professor Abraham Van Helsin, a character in Bram Stoker’s novel
•  Transylvania is a real place in Romania
• The first jack-o-lanterns were carved out of turnips
• This one for the nerds: Oct. 31 equals Dec. 25 (in Hex!)

I’m getting a lot of email this week from female RBDN regulars asking for Halloween costume advice. These women have tired of the overwhelming variety of girl costumes available online and in stores including: Sexy Pirate, Sexy School Girl, Sassy Sailor, Cutie Conductor, Sexy Mobster Girl, Sexy Football player, Sexy Vampire, Sexy Navy Girl, Sexy Baseball player, Sexy Pilot, Oriental Delight, French Maid, Sexy Kansas Girl , Sexy French Princess, Sexy Witch, Naughty Nurse, Sinful Nun, and Sexy NASCAR driver.

If your goal to to look like a prostitute, you have lots of options! Strangely enough, many women seem to be looking for something a bit different. Wanting to help my readers, I put on the old thinking cap and have come up with a list of novel costume ideas for you’all. Not all are winners, but I think you’ll find some outside-the-box thinking. I’ve borrowed some good ideas from friends as well. Some costume ideas are for guys, too. Enjoy!

• Wacky
  • You could paint a box to look like a bedside table and glue a mug on top and a small lamp and maybe a pair of eyeglasses. Then cut a hole for your head, arms and body. When people ask what you say you’re a “one night stand.”
  • Some metal tubing and a trip to Walmart and tah dah! you’re the Karate Kid shower
  • A large clock hangs around your neck and some painted cardboard in the shape of a giant hammer and it’s hammer time
  • Circular cardboard with a handle, and two large simulated eggs equals: your brain on drugs
  • A wild-eyed woman with a NASA shirt in diapers is a crazy astronaut
  • Any fast food shirt with a cap and you can go as an English major
  • A large zipper down the front with a “My Name is: Jack” sticker and voila: jack the zipper

• Utah Specific/Mormon Reference
  • Gather up a few girl friends and a guy and you could all go as a polygamist family. The women wear plain looking dresses and put their hair up under a handkerchief. No makeup allowed!
  • Carry a large sign that says “God hates Sinners” and talk in a very loud voice and you’re a General Conference Protester
  • Dress up like the number one and carry a saxophone or a guitar. If people ask what you are, tell them you’re a musical number.

• Formal
  • Ladies Only! A little black dress and a sleek silver briefcase with a million dollar sign and you can be a Deal or No Deal game show Lady (also works as a group theme)

• Political
  • A noose and a “My Name is: Chad” sticker: hanging chad
  • A pillow under your shirt and a “My Name is: Chad” sticker: pregnant chad
  • A surrender sign, a beret, metro-sexual clothing and a strong accent makes you a French Man

And speaking of all things Halloween, have you been to Odyssey Dance Company’s Thriller? You really must go.

The hours and days immediately following a catastrophe such as a hurricane or a terrorist attack are the most perilous. Critical services like electricity and gas can be disabled. Food and water and shelter can be scarce. It’s during these times that many panic and people suffer the most. Careful planning for such events can mitigate their harm and allow one to focus on alleviating the discomfort of others. An old standby of emergency preparedness is the 72 hour kit. Do you have one? (see poll below) If not, now is the time to make or buy one. Here is a summary of what a good kit should contain:

Personal 72 hour kit Contents (contents all fitting in an easy-to-carry duffel bag or a backpack)

1. Food and Water (A three day supply of food and water, per person, when no refrigeration or cooking is available)
   • Granola Bars, Trail Mix/Dried Fruit, Canned Food (plus non-electric can opener), Water (1-2 Gallons Per Person)
2. Bedding and Clothing
   • Change of Clothing, Rain Coat/Poncho
   • Blankets
3. Fuel and Light
   • Flashlight + batteries (Don’t forget the batteries!)
   • Candles, Lighter, Water-Proof Matches
4. Equipment
   • Can Opener
   • Dishes/Utensils
   • Shovel
   • Radio (with batteries!)
   • Pen and Paper
   • Pocket Knife
   • Rope
5. Personal Supplies and Medication
   • First Aid Supplies (with OTC meds like Asprin)
   • Toilet paper
   • Soap
   • Prescription Medication (for 3 days)
6. Personal Documents and Money (in a water-proof container)
   • Copies of Legal Documents (Birth/Marriage Certificates, Wills, Passports, Contracts, etc)
   • Vaccination Papers
   • Insurance Policies
   • Cash
   • Credit Card

Buy a kit:

• Emergency Essentials
• Red Cross
• Cabelas
• Google

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(src: http://lds.about.com/od/preparednessfoodstorage/a/72hour_kit.htm)